Dear Fellow White People…Now Is a Good Time to Do Some New Thinking.
Now is a really good time to do some reflecting, do some research, and try to learn something new about folks who don’t look like you. Yes, I am talking to my fellow white peeps.
See, it was understandably easy to say, “that doesn’t affect me” and be annoyed each time Kap took a knee. Many of us are really busy trying to survive ourselves. Two jobs. Three jobs. Lotta side hustle. I’ve been there. It’s tough to keep up with “politics” when you’ve got more immediate concerns, and you trust the system built for you.
But some took the time to throw “Blue Lives Matter” rallies. Y’all. There is no such THING as a blue life. There are people who chose to be cops as an occupation. It’s a Job, and not an easy one. Not one of us made the decision to be born wearing the skin we’re in. We can’t take it off when it’s inconvenient.
So if this country worked in the reverse, and people walking around with pale skin were the near-constant target of suspicion, violence and death (especially when it comes from those who are paid to keep you safe) perhaps you’d see this thing differently.
I know plenty of folks have dinged me for being” too political” — around that last presidential election, specifically. This (look around) is what I meant then when I bothered to explain living my politics. My life and the lives of most of my loved ones are profoundly affected every day by political choices and decisions. Our lives are profoundly affected by what the “majority” decides we are worth.
Just now, yours is, too.
Are you paying attention now? Good. That’s the point. Now dig a little deeper and try to find some compassion. Try your best to have some empathy for what is happening — and Why.
I will never celebrate violence. I find it heartbreaking each and every time humans feel there’s nothing left but violence to rectify a situation. Whether it’s declaring war or slapping your kid — I think we’re all better when we don’t hit.
Just like I think we’re all better without teargas and rubber bullets. And I still think we have way too many guns out here.
We’re all better off and safer if we take the time to understand one another better and stop “othering” humans into animals, thugs, and savages. Still people. We’re all still people. And just like you can’t fathom busting out a Target window, there are other humans who can’t fathom the blind eye many white folks turn to what is absolutely an abuse of power — the very real problem of police brutality and murder. Murder.
I’m not asking you to condone looting. Or the destruction of property. Ever.
I’m asking you to walk a moment in someone else’s shoes. Imagine fearing for your child’s life at the hands of the people you pay to “protect” them. That is a constant horror that simmers. A constant tension. A fear far different from the fear that comes from ignorance — it’s a fear that comes from evidence. Repeated, systemic evidence. That your beloved is always a potential target is a hard thing to know.
I’ve unlearned a lot over five-plus decades. I had to challenge my own installed racism and call it what it was. Fortunately, I started young.
We need a paradigm shift in this country, and it’s coming. And that shift must begin in each heart. Each mind. Stop being so afraid of people who are terrified of You. The fight for queer rights and the fight for black and brown rights cross paths often. Both are born of folks looking at us and seeing One THING instead of millions of vibrant individuals who are more like you than unlike you at their center. Humans come in a striking variety of flavors — and they are ALL equally valid, despite us living a system that says otherwise.
That’s right. We live in a System. It is designed. It is implemented. It is fed. It is what “we” say it is. The more voices heard, the better and more stable the design. The fewer voices involved, the more fragile the build. This one is crumbling a bit, isn’t it?
Maybe stop all the name-calling for a moment. Stop trying to confirm the biases your ancestors installed and try to see the human beings marching the streets. Try to see what might lead some to feeling so overwhelmed and angry and without representation that they feel led to destroy. Just get a glimpse of what they must be feeling. And could you be brought to your breaking point? What might do it? For some, it seems it’s not getting Wawa coffee on the corner today. For real though.
Our strength really is in our diversity. America is a much lovelier tapestry when we weave with all the beautiful threads. Otherwise, we’re just making beige canvas.
Much of what white folks believe about black and brown folks is carefully crafted by others. And you think you see “evidence” that confirms the ugliness you may assume. Because that’s what you’ve been carefully taught to look for. When you start looking for evidence to the contrary — it’s there too! In beautiful abundance.
The more you challenge the notion that you define me by what you think of me, rather than by who I actually am — the less you diminish the both of us. Whether we are talking skin color, gender variation or sexual orientation — the less you care to understand, the less safe each of us is. And if we build our system based on your fear, rather than Our shared reality, it’s built with deep flaws. It won’t hold. Not forever. It can’t.
I’m not asking you to challenge all the things just now. But it’s a good time to try to understand skin color is just a reflection of melanin levels and nothing more. It determines nothing in the physical world but your ability to handle sunlight.
Every other thing we think or do about skin color is a result of deep conditioning. And wrong-thinking IS what got us here. Racism IS what got us here. None of this IS the problem, it is the RESULT of the problem. You’re tired of HEARING about racism, but how many moments have you spent considering what it is to live with being the brunt of it? It’s real. It is everywhere. And it is deeply embedded in the hearts of far too many otherwise wonderful people who don’t even recognize it, don’t want to see it, and are terrified to challenge it. Take a look inside.
We need solutions. Solutions are simply ideas. And then we need to have the will to implement new ideas. If you’re thinking FIRST we need to end the violence, we agree. Except we need to end the violence that GOT us here to end the violence in the streets.
Now that more of us are paying attention, we each face that age-old question, “will I be part of the solution?” If not, you’re still part of the problems that got us Here. And for many of you, it isn’t your fault that ugly ideas were installed. But it is your fault if you keep them there without challenge. Now you know if you didn’t before.
Now is a good time to do some new thinking.
