About That SCOTUS Decision… For Transfolk, (And Many LGBQ People) It’s Seriously Just a Start

So, the SCOTUS ruling is cool and all, if you can GET a job in the first place.
It’s a monumental Start. But there’s still a very long way to go.
There’s so much we’ve got to address where (particularly) employment for transfolk is concerned. If they can’t even get the job, what’s it matter they can’t be fired? (I’m not getting into housing or healthcare or basic civility here, I’m-a try to focus.) And I’m not even talking about COVID-19 unemployment. That’s a whole ‘nother thing.

I believe this discussion needs to start with school.
Yes, school. Elementary school and beyond.
We cannot fix problems we refuse to even identify by name. So many of Our kids leave school with too little education. Because school isn’t safe for many LGB (especially T) Q+ kids.
It’s damn near impossible to learn when you’re trying to survive. Made even worse when you can’t even pee without commotion.
We’ve got to do better.

Trans children EXIST. They know who they are from a very young age. There is no malady. There is nothing to FIX, there is a child to SUPPORT. You cannot pray away the way a kid is Wired. But you sure can kill a spirit — or an entire child — with Those prayers.

The other kids have the full capacity to get it if their parents haven’t infected their minds with ignorant unfounded fears. Instinctively, and with damn little explanation, kids accept differences in full stride. We inflict so much unnecessary trauma inserting all kinds of bullshit into a very simple discussion.

As a nation, we are so ridiculously obsessed with genitalia. We are so steeped in repression, yet obsessed with children’s private bits.
It’s unsettlingly weird.
Some girls have a penis.
Some boys have a vagina.
Some kids have a unique combination of both.
There. The explanation is literally that simple. Beyond that, you’re adding your own shit to a conversation that could and should be literally 2 seconds long.
I’d like to see the day where we aren’t discussing little kids’ genitals in the first damn place.

I have to assume all the adults so very afraid of transfolk have lived under rocks for their entirety.
Obviously, you’ve never been to a nude beach. Go, for the love of sanity. It takes about 10 minutes to get over yourself and everyone else. Just people. With human bodies. All kinds. Just. There. On the beach. In the sun. That’s All.
Or an LGBTQ night club where there’s ONE bathroom and two stalls and you GET IN LINE. Know what happens? Folks pee and keep it moving. All manner of folks. And nobody cares! For the love of Christmas, everybody pees! Y’all make it way weirder than it ever has to be. And I cannot imagine what you’re doing when near a bathroom stall that you’ve conjured such images in your heads. Mercy.

Trans folk attempt suicide at double the rate of other LGBTQ+ people — NOT because transfolk are inherently flawed. Nope. It’s because some of y’all are insane, obsessed and ugly. What are you so very afraid of? The tremendous stress these kids face is imposed, not internal. It’s internalized. Thrown hard at them from a young age. Big difference.

Back to jobs.
Even though transfolk make excellent employees overall, it’s tough out there. Demoralizing. And besides not wanting to hire folks based on appearance, voice, alleged potential discomfort, etc. — some of us can’t properly fill out an application or write a resume to begin with. It’s a criminal failure on the part of our society and educational system aimed at innocent Children.
“But the children!” flies out the damn window once we’re discussing queer and trans kids. Who EXIST.

Back to School.
I was a very smart kid. Too smart for my own good, they told me. This mouth would get me in trouble, they told me. (It has…)
I was a straight-A student with perfect attendance until the 4th grade. That’s when I learned words were also weapons that would color my world until I dropped out entirely my senior year.
Faggot. Fairy. Sissy. Queer. Punk.
He-she. It.
Before I was even 10 years old, and well before I knew what the words even really meant, I knew they applied to me. Daily. Who taught those words to the other 9 year-olds? Who taught them how and when to apply them for maximum impact?

And when those boys found out I wouldn’t fight back with fists? (Such a prissy pacifist back then) I was fair game. I was jumped and punched and hit and spit on. Made all the better because I wasn’t small. I was taller than most. Fair playground game.
The bullying lasted until I was fortunate (?) enough to be moved to a private Christian school for ninth grade. At least they “had” to be nice to me. But by then the die was cast. I hated school and once I quit to go to work it would be years before I looked back. The torture sunk into my bones. It altered my being and my future. Bullying does that.

But like I said, I’m smart. I was already reading at a high school level in third grade. I had a grandmother who read to me and nurtured me to learn. And I was curious as hell. I was way lucky there. And she protected me from the harsher elements of my home life. Best she could, anyway.

Too many of our kids aren’t so lucky. Didn’t get any support, and have damn little support now. I’m thrilled for organizations like TransWork here in Philadelphia that are really trying to examine and address all aspects of the situation to benefit our folks and help them find meaningful, dignified work.
We need to do so much more.

There are a million ideas out there with little to no funding. There are already folks creating solutions because they’ve lived through the horror that can be growing up LGBTQ+ in America — they need financial support. Where there is a political will, there is always a way. But just now, we have an administration that treats us with disdain. And if you support this president, you support our mistreatment. It’s that simple.
We need to do better.

Back to SCOTUS
This is a HUGE victory, make no mistake. But there’s so much more we need to question and challenge and reimagine and rebuild.
Back before I entered the fourth grade, around other kids, I was just me. I played with girl toys and boy toys. Built forts, and played Barbies. Got muddy and played dress up. I could draw and paint and play with makeup, and I could play lightning tag and kickball and hide and seek.
And I actually don’t know what the other kids thought, because we just… Played. When we were young we all just existed as we were. Until we were taught otherwise.
That’s how I know what’s possible. And why I get so fucking mad over what came next. And I don’t want one more kid to tell a story like mine.

There’s a lot we need to do differently for our LGBTQ+ kids to fulfill the promises of this monumental SCOTUS ruling.
It starts with Seeing them. Acknowledging them.
Educating yourselves if you are blessed with an LGBTQ+ child.
Especially if you are gifted with a trans child.
We are not freaks. We are not misfits. We are not mistakes.
We Are RARE.
Make sure we are in a learning environment where we can learn and grow.
Make sure we are safe to exist.
Make sure you express unconditional love and support in the home.
Make sure if your religion doesn’t “like” LGBTQ+ children you FIND YOURSELF A NEW RELIGION.
Being any part of the beautiful LGBTQ+ community is not a flaw nor is it a Choice.
Religion? 100% a choice.
Protect your kids above your adopted beliefs.

I do believe we are ALL created in the image of whatever “god” is.
All.
And while I don’t believe in hell, I want to for every parent I see turn away a child in the name of a god they’ve never seen and do Not speak For.
So.
Love your kids, whoever they reveal themselves to be.
Don’t gaslight them.
Don’t attempt to fix them.
Learn FROM them.

And by the way, we had to Go To Court in the first damn place because our rights are still very much up for debate — in way too many churches, courtrooms, living rooms, hearts AND minds — in this country where we are ALL alleged to be equal. Girl, please.

The SCOTUS decision is a Start. It ain’t fix much until we’re willing to look at far more of our ugly and fix THAT.
Oh, and Stonewall was ALSO not a placid demonstration.
Because learning is hard.

Peace, y’all.