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A Trans Epiphany at Last! (Thank You Jon Stewart and Graham Norton, too)

Martha Madrigal
9 min readOct 19, 2022

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Photo Credit: Jon Stewart/Twitter

I finally took the time to watch the episode of “ The Problem With Jon Stewart” called The War Over Gender. It’s excellent! Well done, it wasn’t created without us, and he went IN. I highly recommend watching the entire thing.

As two parents were discussing their experiences with their trans daughters, I had one of those big AH-HA moments I’ve been desperate for. I’ve written before about my struggles with smoking cigarettes. Actually, I don’t struggle at all with smoking, or quitting, but with staying quit. It’s almost as if smoking is an integral part of who I am.

Hearing those parents reiterate what I have heard dozens and dozens of times from parents of trans kids hit differently today. I made a connection so profound (for me) I paused the TV to write it down and not lose the moment. My parents had known I smoked for nearly 3 years, but they had an arbitrary rule that I was not allowed to smoke in front of them until I turned 18. On my 18th birthday, I took great pleasure in lighting a cigarette in front of my mother.

Here’s what I wrote today, “I came out at 18 (as a smoker) because I couldn’t come out as transgender. Smoking they would have to face -because they wouldn’t allow the Truth of Me. Smoking was the ‘controversial’ thing I MADE people accept about me -and…

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Martha Madrigal
Martha Madrigal

Written by Martha Madrigal

Trans Artivist/Writer/Humorist ~ co-host of “Full Circle (The Podcast) with Charles Tyson, Jr. & Martha Madrigal.” Rarely shuts up.

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